So my precious little sunshine turned 1 today...
*insert panicked breathing and that sad sigh that starts in a mama's heart that means your baby's growing up*
I doesn't seem that long ago when I carried her and delivered her. I can still remember little details
that made it so special to me.
the Lord blessed me with a wonderful pregnancy.
i still had a few aches and pains, and no it was not a walk in the park.
but by no means was it as hard as some pregnancies of friends and families
I had a "morning sickness free" pregnancy. Not once did I get sick or throw up,
for which I am very grateful.
In it's place,
I was plagued with terrible migrains,( It felt as though I was taking a ton of tylenol)
heartburn that never quit. (I was eating tums like candy, which helped me with my calcium intake)
And, my hips were out of alignment (I have one leg shorter than the other and I have always had hip trouble it was just a horrible pain, because my center of alignment was off and it made walking, sleeping and sometimes even sitting a challenge.I will probably have hip trouble with every pregnancy, but I digress)
My pregnancy was a joy. I loved and enjoyed every minute.
In the words of my husband and a good friend
I have a "nesting" type personality.
When I had suspicions that I was pregnant with aurora,
I got excited and told my friend Missa (she is one of the ones I tell nearly everything to)
even before I had taken a test.
I was just so excited to be a mama.
I even enjoyed my labor (well, as much as you can )
I wasn;t a perfectly calm person through the whole pregnancy and labor
there were yimes I cried over stupid stuff and I yelled at the closest person standing to me
and i remember during one point the nurse came in and showed my friend Sharon, who came to help that day a few massage techniques that may help to ease the pressure.
When the nurse did it there was instant relief,
she had hit the pressure point that just relieved the pain from the contraction.
Poor sharon, she tried it and nothing
this is how the convorsation went
(which is hilarious to us now but trust me afterward
I felt so bad and had to apologize for being so mean :(
Thankfully she is a true friend and did not take it personally)
Nurse: "ok, try to massage here" *demonstrates*
Me: *smiles because for a split second there was no pain. :)*
Sharon: * tries a few spots, than innocently asks* "Does this help
Me: " try here *points*
Sharon: "How about Now?
Me: No, Your doing it wrong your not doing what the nurse did!
Willie: Jessica, stop yelling at Sharon, she is doing her best.
Me: I know *sigh of frustration* I don't know what the nurse did,
but it felt better.
When it got to the pushing I was ready to see my sweet girl.
I pushed her out in four contractions and because I never got
an epidural I felt those contractions.
at the point of the "ring of Fire"
a couple of things very clearly ran through my head
mainly because a nurse said that when her head crowns
that was what was called and you will know just as I was starting to push.
The Johnny Cash song "ring of fire",
I get to see her soon,
and as she was coming out,
I can feel her whole body from her little head to her
teeny tiny toes.
Then it happened she was there in my arms and I fell in love at first sight...
The year that followed was full of
fear, uncertainty, at times frustration, exhaustion a complete helplessness
a feeling of inability.
but with those finite human responses
came spirit filled response that can only com from our heavenly father.
LOVE, Satisfaction, Energy (which at times felt directly heaven sent)
Capability, and a Confidence that no matter how many times
I felt I couldn't do this my heavenly father was right There. and the Big one Love,
you know the kind of "fruit of the spirit love...
joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self control
He sent friends and family who were more than willing to answer
any question no matter how stupid it sounded. and I am sure a few of my "new mama "
questions merited a hardy laugh and a shake of the head .
So reflecting on her one year (and nine months) ;) as my daughter I cannot
understand how God could have Blessed us with such a ray of sunshine...
Because that is exactly what she is,
In whom we will never stop thanking him for