Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Trials and blessings of a natural gift to mothers

I have been a mom for almost three months now. 
I know that I have neglected my  
blog, facebook, e-mail, and such... 
but I have a beautiful, smiley, sweet, blue eyed
red haired little darling for an excuse.
I love being a mama. 
It has opened my eyes to the wonderful blessing 
of my own mother...
Something i did not appreciate when I was younger
and regret profusely. Its an understanding that I think you can
only see after you become a mom. 
To carry a budle of blessing and joy for nine months, 
to nurture and nourish it with your own body is something wonderful
Then to go through the process of labor. to ssuffer through all the pain 
and uncertainty of your ability to do something so hard and something you have 
never done before is quite the feat.

To feel her head crown and her whole 7 pound little body go through the 
birth canal, But  then comes that moment.
The moment of relief, to finally have her out and the doctor finally placing he;r in your arms.
to have her look at you with those very alert beautiful eyes.
This is the moment your love becomes tangible, the moment you know it was worth all the
waiting, the pokes and prods of the doctors, and the pain of labor. 
The moment the world fades away and it is just the two of you...

Fastforward to  now...
I feel as the the Lord has given me a second chance to 
experience another blessing.
To breastfeed my daughter. 
I know it sounds silly and maybe a little confusing. 
Here let me rewind... 
The day my daughter was born, was one of the best day of my life but there was a moment that
made things hard for this little mama. 
while pregnant I tried to do as much as I could to get ready for her birth, 
but sometimes no matter how hard you try things 
just have those little speed bumps that slow the process down. 
The nurses  gave her to me to try to nurse and she; latched well,
she was one of those they call a natural, she knew what she was doing.
 But my body protested and my nipples cracked and started bleeding
 immediately. By the time I got home from the hospital both sides were cracked and bleeding.
No matter how many different positions we tried It hurt
I felt like red hot needles were piercing my breasts and
 I would sit and cry because of  the pain.
Please don't think I mean to discourage anybody , 
quite the contrary. I wish to let others know  so those young women 
who have struggles can say "I can do this, I will do this"
I didn't want to give up. 
I guess that's where my determination comes in  (The good side of my stubbornness)
Not only was there pain, but  she kept falling asleep, so she wasn't getting what she needed
and my milk supply wasn't getting a good establishment.
That first week home, it felt like we were going every day to our pediatrician 
just to check her weight which was going down and wasn't getting better.
after a few days of things not working I tried pumping.
I got half an ounce, and she wanted more.  I woke my husband up 
and had him go to the store and get bottle stuff we needed..
. later we ended up settling on "Dr Browns" because regular bottles were causing her tummy troubles.

This struggle went on for about a week when one night I was walking the floor with 
her and she and I were both crying, she because she was hungry, me because I couldn't
do anything. My husband woke up and I told him to get the formula... (I had gotten samples in the mail)
That was the first time  we gave her formula, the first time she slept full and satisfied, and first time I felt like I 
had failed in this situation. 
The next day we had another appointment and our doctor weighed her... she was right at the
10%  weight loss  mark... :(  It was labor day weekend  so we had a long weekend ahead
of us and she suggested  I pump, give her everything and supplement. We would see where she was after that. All the while my milk was increasing.  (We only supplemented for about a week or so to get her weight up, and my supply of extra bottles of milk up which  eventually did work and we were back on just my milk, the supplementing lasted about a week)
 Through this whole ordeal I had a few people who were mad at me for even trying to breastfeed.
 they openly said so and made sure I heard (or over heard) what they thought about it.
When you hear things like "That baby isn't getting enough." "She needs to stop because some women just can't breast feed" "That baby cries too much, you need to switch to formula"
And this from the person who told us to let her cry because they need to learn
how to self sooth...
So the stress was not helping my milk levels, and then hearing the formula thing from the dr
was so discouraging I cried all the way home. heartbroken
 (Remember by this time I am at a really low point, and still emotional from hormones.)
I felt like a failure, like it was my fault this had happened and that things were not quite right.

But the Lord reached down and picked me up.
My husband rallied behind me was my encouragement
and researched and told me everything he found out, helped whenever we tried to latch on
(he was right there listening to the lactation consultant, and helping me every way he could)

When we started trying to nurse again later, he was right there telling me how proud he was of us.
And the ladies at my church were awesome  encouraged me in every way that
they could suggested way to help me heal  encouraged me to keep trying  and told me that it was better to pump and give the milk than give up completely

All in all  I have dealt with low milk supply, cracked and bleeding nipples, clogged ducts, milk blisters. , and  pain of over stimulation from pumping.
In all these trials, God has shown me true blessing.
Even when it is hard, even when you feel like a failure,
even when your not  sure if you can go on with it and even when the obstacles
seem overwhelming and insurmountable.
If you persevere unto the end you get the reward.
 You see nothing compares to the moments you spend nursing your child.
Bottle feeding and pumping does not compare It truly is something magical and wonderful
to receive that blessing

I also have noticed that there is a difference in her.
she is more of a happy contented
baby than she was before and I thought that couldn't happen.

So, no I don't regret not being able to do this from the beginning, yes it was hard,
but it made me stronger and gave perspective.
When I was younger I thought its so easy, not gonna be a problem.
But breastfeeding is hard, that's not a bad thing
Don't be afraid to say something is hard,
lots of things that are good are hard
I am joyful that not everyone has to struggle with  nursing,
But to those of us who do have to work all that much harder,
The moments that we do succeed are that much more precious
and  that much more satisfying.
 to know that we earned these moments, that these moments are the payment
for every ounce of hard work (pun intended)
In the end I am so much more thankful for the moments when we are snuggled up
or she stops nursing long enough to smile at me. than if It had come so easy to me.


Monday, August 22, 2011

...Hospital bound...

We are headed to the hospital tonight.:)
Tomorrow is the day we are going to be induced.
I have Gestational diabetes and  our Doctor 
does not  want us to go past our due date 
So we check into the hospital tonight and 
start the process tomorrow. :) 
Can't wait to meet our little one. :)

Monday, August 15, 2011


So... I have been waiting for our Daughter to arrive since we found 
out we were expecting in December. 
I decided I wasn't going to sit around and twiddle my thumbs... :/
We had decided we would find out the gender in order that we might be 
a little more prepared, considering  we are living on a tight budget since  Willie is in school. 
There is always a test that needs payed for, books to be bought or the silly little expense 
of an extra class that needs payed for "right now!"
But there is a wait to find out ... and I had to find some way to keep busy 
I do have a part time job with my church, caring for  
"my kids"... The ones whose parents are in choir or orchestra. But that is 
only twice a week and special occasions.
I wanted to make baby things, but without knowing it was kind of hard.
I have a lot of friends who are pregnant or are having babies, or had babies...
so I started there. :) 
And this is where I learned that waiting can be a blessing.
I learned a lot about baby stuff, and sewing. 
I found a lot of fun projects to make for baby gifts.  
Then when the time came I started working on my own  baby stuff
which helped with the other end of waiting, but if I had never taken advantage 
of the beginning  part I would never have had the chance to  practice on my sewing.

So now that I have only 9 days or less for baby to come I will view it as a blessing
get some rest, try to get a few  last minute things done and just enjoy this few 
days with my husband, before baby and before He starts back to school.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Baby Gifts

I have begun to receive baby gifts...
I have always loved baby things. Always loved to browse 
the baby isles.
But I never really had an excuse until I became pregnant.
I always really liked  little girl outfits and all the 
Getting to pick out and sort all of the baby things, not to mention 
sewing for my little sweetheart  has been such a joy for me.
It takes me back to when I was a little girl.. 
I would use my baby sister's outfits to dress my dolls.
Anyway, Every time I get a package or card I just sit and dream about
the day when I have  that sweet little angel 
in my arms  and get to use all the beautiful gifts  my very dear family 
and friends are blessing me with. :) 
 One of my  very favorite gift is from My cousin Hannah.  
She knitted a beautiful set of booties, mittens and a little hat.
The reason its one of my favorites 
(My very favorite is the Minnie outfit Willie bought)
is because she put time and effort into something so beautiful. 

Monday, June 27, 2011

Neely's Chicken Salad in Tomato Cups on the Food Network

This sounds so very good. And I can actually have this one lol :)

Maybe I should  stop watching food network... lol 
I keep finding food I like. 

White Chocolate Mousse with Cranberry Sauce on the Food Network

This looks so very yummy! :) can't wait until I am not pregnant to try this...
may even fudge a little and try it before. :)
... As long as my sugar is fine I can try a little. :)
It definitely gives you ideas on how to serve it...
Also, I read on the comments
that If you do not like cranberry sauce, 
try making a raspberry sauce...
or any type of berry sauce. :)

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Wedding Bells... again... :)

On June 18th, 2011
My little sister, the last of us three kids got married.
 Not only that, but she is moving away... :'(
But hopefully  this will get us traveling back and forth
So we can take "Mini vacations" and get to visit.
She was a Beautiful Bride, and the wedding was 
very good. :) 
Very enjoyable. :)

Saturday, May 14, 2011


In honor of SPRING, SUMMER, BABY GIRLS, and All things lovely. :)
I have changed my blog up a bit... added bits of lovely pink. tell me what you think. :)

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

To use or not to use that is the question!


To Use or NOT to Use...
That is the Question!
I am writing this because I inadvertently set in motion a slightly heated debate.
Now I am not one to purposely put something up to cause an argument, or debate, but this is kind of important...
It started with the posting of a picture of a MOBY WRAP
Anyway,  the concern was of suffocating of the infant
which, can very well happen, but can also happen with
other baby products even if used right-------------. 

The subject I want to address here is the middle ground.
what I mean by this is:
 rather than being the overly worried, over protective, and non joyful mama
or even the careless, non-responsible and neglectful mama.
We choose to be the mama that is informed, joyful and confident.

I once had a girlfriend that with her first child she practically 
sanitized the poor baby she was so afraid of germs...
she was such a stickler, that she made you wash your hands 
before you could even get near her little tyke.
this is a classic case of allowing fear to control your life.
of being so afraid that you don't enjoy your baby. 

Than there are mothers who could care less about there 
children. who knowingly allow their children to be placed 
in a dangerous situation... 

I'm not saying this person who voiced the opinion  was an over
protective mama,In fact far from it she is a great mama, but it got me thinking about things,
and wondering if sometimes we even as regular everyday
parents don't sometimes go overboard in some things.

Now obviously you wouldn't subject your child to something such as this....
Note: this is a gag I found on the internet... :/

But, the key to things I think are
 #1 the seeking guidance from God. That is super important.
I know as expectant parents my husband and I sometimes have
uncertainties Our goal is to rely on our Heavenly Father and the wisdom
of others who have gone before us
#2 And using common sense. Don't allow someones fears and insecurities 
to rule your life. 
#3:  Be informed. know what your children are using and you are using for 
your children.

I won't say anymore on that because each person is led down a different 
path The Lord leads each of us and convicts us differently

But whether it be a crib or baby carrier  the most important thing
should always be, before you buy do your research check the pro's and cons of a product
and always know the risks. So anyway, 
thanks for listening to my ramblings and being patient with me while 
I got my babbling done. :)

with Love,